Today I had another conversation about work-life boundaries. This is such a critical (and frequent) conversation for so many of my coaching clients - and one where I often push their boundaries!

What do poor boundaries look like?

They are different for everyone to be honest. But they’re often signalled by some resentment or a lack of self-care. I think they look like checking your work emails on holiday. Or responding to an email at 9.30pm. They look like getting a head start on your work week on a Sunday afternoon.

I can absolutely get some pushback from clients on this one.

Especially if they’ve become conditioned to working long hours over many years. Sometimes they don’t think it’s even possible to do their job in “normal hours” – and that may be true (and that’s the real issue that needs to be resolved). Or if they have a strong identity as a “hard worker”. Maybe their parents had to work long hours and they’ve never really reflected on that expectation in their own life. Or they have imposter syndrome and secretly believe “I have to work hard to make up for the fact I’m not really good enough”.

And I get that your boss may have poor boundaries and even expect that you’ll respond to that email or text after dinner. Don’t even get me started on how important it is if you are a leader to role model strong boundaries – the damage you do to your team with your behaviour can be far reaching and impactful.

But here’s the thing. Your organisation will probably not set the boundaries. Neither will your boss.

It’s your responsibility to set your boundaries. You draw the line in the sand. You make it clear to others what you will accept. They may not like it - and that’s okay because it’s not up to you to make everyone happy.

Your job is to demonstrate that you can do your role well AND maintain your boundaries. If your organisation (or leader) has no respect for that, there is most certainly a problem.